M*A*S*H - The Final Episode
Goodbye, Farewell and AmenThe final episode was 2 1/2 hours long and filled with
lots of emotions. I cry everytime I see it. :o( 251. Goodbye, Farewell and Amen (9-B04) February 28, 1983 Written by Alan Alda, Burt Metcalfe, John Rappaport, Thad Mumford, Dan Wilcox, David Pollock, Elias Davis, and Karen Hall Directed by Alan Alda Guest Stars: Allan Arbus, Rosalind Chao, G.W. Bailey, Shari Saba, Jeff Maxwell, Gwen Farrell, Kellye Nakahara, Roy Goldman The episode's opening scene is at a psychiatric hospital, where Hawkeye was after a breakdown. Dr. Sidney Freedman is there, trying to get Hawkeye to talk about what happened on a trip back from R&R at the beach (where most of the staff went for 4th of July), which is the cause of Hawkeye's breakdown. At first, all Hawkeye will say is they had a great time and rode a bus back to camp and so and so and so..... We know something more happened, but what? Meanwhile, back at the 4077th..... Although reports that the war is almost over reach the camp with increasing frequency, the 4077th is still full with refugees and prisoners of war. Fresh casualties pour in as both sides try to gain ground before the armistice. Other members of the unit are coping with the final days of war, and making plans to get out. Hot Lips' father is trying to find her a glamorous Army post. B.J. is determined to make it back for his daughter's birthday. Charles wants a plum appointment at a Boston hospital. Klinger worries about Soon-Lee's attempts to find her parents. The normal business of the camp is interrupted by a runaway Army tank that crashes into the compound and destroys the half-built latrine. With two results. First, Charles wanders off to relieve himself and stumbles on a group of Chinese musicians. They surrender and come back with him to the camp. Second, the enemy spots the tank and begins to shell the base. Father Mulcahy bravely ventures out under fire to release the POWs, a shell explodes near him, and he suffers a mild concussion. When B.J. examines him, he detects a hearing loss that Father Mulcahy begs him to keep from the rest of the company. Sidney is still trying to jog Hawkeye's memory about the bus ride back from the beach. Turns out the ride wasn't as fun as Hawkeye first claimed.... While riding back to camp, the bus stopped to pick up some refugees, and then a little further down the road, they pick up some GIs. One of the soldiers says there is a North Korean patrol coming down the road and tells them to get the bus off the road and into the bushes. Everyone is told to stay quiet until the patrol passes.... Hawkeye then says that there was a chicken on the bus that was making a lot of noise. He complains to the woman holding it, telling her to keep it quiet. He then tells Sidney that something was wrong, the chicken stopped making noise... the woman had killed it. At that moment, Hawkeye's memory is completely restored and he cries out.... "I didn't mean for her to kill it, I only wanted her to keep it quiet! It was a baby!!!! She smothered her own baby!!!!" He curses Sidney for making him remember that, but Sidney says he had to remember... now he was halfway home. Back at the 4077th, B.J. got his orders to go home. At first Colonel Potter doesn't want to let him go, which would leave the camp short two doctors, but B.J. says he'll find a replacement doctor for them, so Potter agrees. Klinger works hard to try and get B.J. on a flight home, and when the mail arrives, B.J. quickly packs and leaves for home on the chopper. He doesn't have time to leave Hawkeye a note, so he tells Margaret to say goodbye for him. Charles learns that he has been appointed to him Boston hospital but quarrels violently with Hot Lips on discovering that she has pulled strings for him. He consoles himself by teaching the Chinese musicians a little touch of Mozart. Klinger, meanwhile, has brought back a reluctant Soon-Lee to the safety of the camp, although she is still determined to find her parents. He is obviously in love. Hawkeye returns to find B.J. gone. He asks Margaret, "Is it the war that stinks, or just me? My best friend without so much as a damned note. Trapper did the same thing." The camp continues to be fired on because the tank is still in the compound. Hawkeye finally decides to take care of the problem and drives the tank into the trash dump. That relieves the pressure on the company, but only temporarily... . Fires started by incendiary bombs in the surrounding woods are visible from the camp and Colonel Potter orders evacuation proceedings. The Colonel's desperate plea for a relief surgeon is answered unexpectedly by the return of B.J., who was already one-third of the way home when the Army recalled him to fulfill the Colonel's staff request. "I got as far as Guam, "he explained. "I'm sitting in this crummy Officers Club and a guy says, 'Are you Hunnicutt, the surgeon?' and I said, 'No, I'm Hunnicutt, the chaplain,' so he said, 'Well, chaplain, you better start praying for a miracle because your're going back to Korea to do surgery." Klinger proposes marriage and is accepted by Soon-Lee. He is overjoyed. Charles, however, is not so happy when he loses his "orchestra" to a relocation center. Later in the OR the end of the war was announced over the PA, then they all started talking about what they would eat when they first arrived home. More wounded came in and surgery was interrupted by an announcement requesting a surgeon for triage. Charles gladly went out and tagged the wounded as usual. "What else do we have?" he asked a corpsman. "This POW, sir. Part of his chest is blown off. He was in the back of the truck when it was hit." Charles saw the man's face. It was one of his Chinese musicians. "What happened to the others?" he asked numbly. "He's the only one who made it this far," Nurse Kellye is there and tells Charles that they have to prep the patients, so he should take a break. Charles goes into the swamp and sits down and plays the Mozart piece he was teaching the musicians. It doesn't play for long though, Charles lifts up the album and smashes it on the corner of the phonograph. At the final party, members of the company talk about their lives after the war. Colonel Potter looks forward to becoming a semi-retired country doctor. Margaret declares she has opted for the States and a big city hospital, instead of taking one of the jobs her father was setting up for her. Klinger announces his engagement and shocks everyone by saying he's staying in Korea!!!! Charles announces "I'll be head of Thoracic Surgery at Boston Mercy Hospital. My life will go on as expected. For me, music had always been a refuge from this miserable experience. Now it will always be a reminder." The next day, Klinger and Soon-Lee get married and the tearful goodbyes start... Corpsman begin packing up the camp for the last time. All the wounded are shipped out and the members were shipping out. Charles and Margaret were supposed to share a jeep, but Margaret had so many belongings that there was no room for Charles. Margaret starts to take some things off the jeep, but Charles stops her, saying he'll find alternate transportation. He then asks her if she might have room for one more thing... and hands her a copy of 'Sonnets From the Portuguese' and kisses her hand. Their fight was over. At this time, Potter, Hawkeye and B.J. start walking over to the jeep, telling Charles to hold onto that hand because they all want a piece of it too. Margaret says goodbye to B.J. and Col Potter, and then she and Hawkeye start to speak, but instead, run to each other and embrace and kiss... And a long kiss it was... 34 seconds!! They stop, say "See ya" and then Margaret gets in the jeep and it drives away. Rizzo finds Charles alternate transportation.. a garbage truck!! LOL Charles doesn't seem to mind though, stating that it's an appropriate way to leave a garbage dump. Colonel Potter gets ready to take one last ride on Sophie, who is being given to the orphanage at Father Mulcahy's request. "Well, boys," he said to Hawkeye and B.J., "it would be hard to call what we've been through fun, but I'm sure glad we went through it together. You always managed to give me a good laugh when I needed it". "We've been thinking about a little something to give you before you left," B.J. said. "It's not much," said Hawkeye, "but it comes from the heart." The two men then stood at attention and saluted him. Hawkeye's chopper arrived, and it's time for him and B.J. to say goodbye. "Look, Beej, I know it's tough for you to say good-bye, so I'll say it. Maybe we'll see each other again, maybe not!! In any case, I want you to know how much you've meant to me." The men hugged. Hawkeye got on the helicopter, and B.J. gets on his motorcycle. B.J calls out to Hawkeye, "In case we don't see each other again, I left you a note. Look down!!" and then he drives off. The helicopter lifts off the ground, and as Hawkeye looks down, he sees B.J.'s final note written on the ground with stones.......... 
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